How to help kids navigate body image in the age of #protein-maxxing and #skinnyTok

As a teen in the nineties, I checked the mail religiously for the arrival of my favourite magazine. The advice was always predictable: Flannel was cool, combat boots paired well with sundresses and the best way to get a boy to like you was to play hard to get. But then there was the information I really came for: the stay-fit routine of the size-two cover model (mostly aerobics classes and grilled chicken). Each month I was reminded that this was supposed to be my goal.

Teens have always been focused on how they look, but for generations Z and Alpha, the rate at which they can now consume this kind of advice, the volume of that information, the limited credentials of the people providing it, and the pace at which the advice changes are all unprecedented. The hot tips no longer stop at the end of a ream of glossy pages. Frequent social-media use has been tied to negative body image, but not all content has the same effect. While some content is indisputably false or harmful (or both), sometimes the larger concern is how a teen processes it.

“It’s less the content itself and more how someone responds, feels and thinks about the content,” says Jamal Essayli, associate professor at Penn State College of Medicine.

Nik Nanos: When it comes to kids and social media, Canadians have had enough

By age 12, when most children begin puberty, 61 per cent of kids will have a smartphone. Which means that just as their bodies are changing in ways they don’t understand and can’t control, they’re able to access an endless scroll of opinions on the ideal body and advice on how to achieve it, which “can make them more susceptible,” says Essayli.

While social media isn’t the sole culprit getting in the way of a healthy body image and habits, it can contribute. Here’s how to help navigate this road with your teen.

Not every body-related concern is obvious

Body dysmorphia, disordered eating and eating disorders can look different from person to person. In many cases they can look like healthy habits: going for a walk after a meal, hitting the gym, cutting out sugar, says Cara Kasdorf, the co-owner of Blueprint Nutrition and a registered dietitian who works with teens. That can make it harder to tell when there’s cause for concern.

“Less than six per cent of those diagnosed are underweight, meaning you can’t just ‘see’ an eating disorder by looking at someone,” says Penny Greening, the founder and executive director of the non-profit Reframe Voices Society, which provides tools and guidance for parents and educators to detect childhood eating disorders early and promote children’s mental wellbeing.

Eating disorders also tend to be under-detected and under-diagnosed in males, in part because they’re often seen as more of a female concern, says Essayli.

In the case of muscle dysmorphia, when an individual believes their body does not have enough muscle mass, the associated behaviour – going to the gym a lot, upping your protein intake – often presents as healthy. But muscle dysmorphia can result in behaviours like regularly taking pre-workout supplements, which can contain up to three times more caffeine than a cup of coffee, overusing dietary supplements, or overloading protein at the expense of other key nutrients.

Opinion: Social media concerns are hitting a critical mass

Consume social media together

Teens may be getting questionable diet and fitness advice from social media, but banning it altogether doesn’t often work; even if they don’t consume it on their own device, they might interact with it on a friend’s. The best course of action is to address it.

“Every parent should be their child’s media concierge from day one,” says Greening. That might mean helping choose the movies and shows your younger children are viewing, watching with them and asking questions about how it made them feel. As your kids grow, it could mean asking them to show you their favourite TikTok reels and asking why they like a particular creator.

One of the dangers of personal handheld devices like smartphones is that using them is an inherently solitary activity, Greening adds. To avoid that disconnect, “take the time to consume media on their level and learn,” Greening says.

Ask to see what their algorithm shows them; it’s a good indication of what they’re interested in and interacting with. Even if they just spend a few extra seconds watching a video about dieting, for example, the algorithm will pick up on that and feed them similar content.

Ask questions like “how does something like this make you feel?” says Greening. If your teen is unlikely to answer you, or just grunts in your general direction, try to observe how their face or body changes when they’re watching.

Kasdorf says many of the teens she works with are surprisingly open about where they learned about a new diet or exercise regimen. They’ll often tell her “I’m doing this because I saw this person do it online.”

“They’re just sharing openly because they actually think that’s true information,” she says. “They think ‘This is fact. This is what I have to do.’”

Opinion: Big Tech’s been targeting kids at school all along

She often asks them if they know the credentials of the person providing the information, and whether what they’re saying is based on personal experience or scientific evidence.

It’s also worth talking about AI-generated content and how it’s possible that the person you’re aspiring to look like might not be a real person at all.

The goal should be teaching them to think critically about what they’re seeing instead of just blindly following advice.

Model good body image and language

Not every teen is willing to have an open conversation about anything, especially what they’re consuming online. In that case, one of the best things you can do is model healthy behaviours.

Kasdorf often talks to parents about their own relationship with dieting and body image, because many don’t realize their personal feelings and actions are trickling down to their children. “Working through some of their own concerns can be helpful,” she says. “How am I talking about my body? Am I commenting on other people’s bodies?” She often hears parents say things like, “Well, you can eat that but I can’t because I don’t swim six hours a week.”

Greening suggests trying to avoid appearance-based compliments to your children or, if you do make that kind of observation, add something about a positive action they took, like being kind to a friend. Show them that who they are will always matter more than how they look.

“You can help your child believe that no matter how their body changes, you’ll always love them,” she says.