Can you be too authentic to lead effectively?

Dorothy Kudla is the founder of Full Circle Connections and author of the book Six Functions, One Vision. She helps modern leaders simplify leadership, build alignment and drive results.

We’ve spent years celebrating authenticity as a leadership virtue. Be yourself. Stay true to your values. Lead in a way that feels natural.

But does being true to yourself necessarily make you an effective leader?

In my leadership workshops, I ask participants to identify the characteristics of good leaders. Authenticity almost always appears in the top three. When I ask what that means, people struggle to define it.

When authentic leadership first gained traction, it described leaders who knew themselves, acted consistently with their principles, were open with people and weighed other perspectives before deciding.

Somewhere along the way, we flattened it into “I’m just being myself.”

Now, being authentic can become an excuse for an approach that isn’t working.

Take a leader who values honesty and interprets it as saying exactly what they think, with little attention to tone or timing. When feedback doesn’t land well, the leader responds, “I value honesty. People always know where they stand with me.” They defend their delivery instead of asking whether their feedback helped the employee. If we accept that as authentic leadership, we’ve lowered the bar for what good leadership requires.

Authenticity needs a filter. I use three pillars of leadership to help leaders examine their approach:

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is understanding what drives you and how your behaviour lands with others. For authentic leadership, that starts with your values. These prompts can help you identify your top three.

• Whom do you admire and why? Keep asking until you reach the reason underneath. Admiring a colleague who raises concerns in meetings may point to courage.
• What do you judge most harshly in others? Frustration often signals that a value you hold is being crossed. If indecisiveness drives you up the wall, decisiveness is probably on your list.
• Which behaviours do you find yourself defending? People defend what they value. If you’re the one making sure every perspective gets heard, look at fairness or respect.
• When have you felt proud of a decision? Identify what made it feel right. Pride in giving credit to the person who did the work when it would have been easier to take it, can point to integrity.

Look for patterns in your answers, then define what your top three values mean in practice. Every value is a coin with two sides. If autonomy made your list, notice how often it shows up as leaving people to figure things out on their own. The freedom that energizes an experienced employee can leave someone tackling an unfamiliar task stranded. Know both sides of yours.

Situational awareness

Situational awareness is the ability to accurately read the people and dynamics around you and interpret what they need. I teach leaders to do this by running on two tracks in every conversation. The first is what’s being discussed. The second is how the conversation is unfolding.

In my experience, leaders who lean hard on their values tend to stay on the first track. The second track is where you learn what someone needs. Notice if the person seems engaged, puzzled or hesitant. If their words and tone don’t match, stop and get curious. For example, when a team member says “I’ll figure it out” with a tight smile, follow up. Ask, “What would help you?”

A leader who values innovation may be excited to see their team adopt artificial intelligence and frustrated when employees hesitate. Alongside rollout details, explore concerns people haven’t voiced. Ask what worries them before interpreting hesitation as resistance. This can feel like a step backward to a leader eager for progress. Understanding those concerns helps the leader decide on the right action.

Intentional action

Once you understand your values and what others need, decide where to shift your approach. The leader who values autonomy might offer guidance before someone asks for it. A commitment to honesty can include choosing the timing and tone of feedback as carefully as the words. And the leader eager to introduce AI may need to slow down long enough to listen.

These choices can feel uncomfortable. Familiar behaviours often feel more authentic simply because we have practised them longer. Discomfort is a reason to pay attention, not to retreat to what feels natural.

Then ask the people affected if your approach helped and use what you hear to decide what to do next.

We’ve spent years asking leaders to be true to themselves. We need to ask more of them. Authenticity is where leadership starts. Intentionality is what makes it effective.

This column is part of Globe Careers’ Leadership Lab series, where executives and experts share their views and advice about the world of work. Find all Leadership Lab stories at tgam.ca/leadershiplab.