There are many ‘I’s in a team

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The term team has become commonplace at work, an encouragement to collaboration and unity. But if you look at your team closely, what should strike you is not the similarities but the differences.

“It shows up everywhere: In communication styles, perspectives, values, cultural norms, levels of comfort with conflict, generational expectations, training, ways of processing information, experiences, relationship networks and even the tone of a Slack message,” Simmons University leadership professor Susan MacKenty Brady, consultant Stuart D. Kliman, and Lt. Gen. (Ret.) Leslie C. Smith, vice-president for leadership and education at the Association of the United States Army, write in All The Difference.

The difference is rooted in varied experiences, in identities that shape how individuals see the world and in assumptions and shortcuts that influence how they make decisions. The difference can be subtle or glaring, visible or invisible. But it is always present and managers must be alert to those influences if they are to be successful in their job. There are many “I”s in a team.

Difference can be a powerful force for your organization. But the trio note that unlocking it takes clarity, purpose and skill. “When it goes unacknowledged, unexamined or poorly engaged, it does not sit quietly in the corner. It festers. Difference can erode trust, weaken connection and quietly drain energy, potential and performance. Left unmanaged, difference becomes a liability, not because difference itself is the problem, but because failing to lead through difference is,” they say.

They point to four universal human dynamics that can be landmines if not spotted and handled well. You must manage the certainty that people can express for their ideas and preferences; inconsistency, such as gaps between intention and impact; reactivity, the sensitivity some people have to other colleagues’ comments and feedback; and justification, the tendency for people to rationalize their actions. If you think back on recent controversies, tensions or setbacks in your team, certainty, inconsistency, reactivity or justification may have played a role.

The authors offer six tools for handling those landmines and the differences in your team:

• Know yourself: You can’t expect to find value from all the difference that surrounds you if you aren’t recognizing, challenging and responding to your own desires. Their many conversations with leaders made it clear that the ability to manage interactions and relationships is directly correlated to how well we know and manage ourselves.
• Return to respect when it matters most: Workplace friction does not have to erode trust or wreck performance. You must, however, recognize when you’ve been knocked out of alignment and learn how to return to your best self. “Whether it’s a moment of personal frustration or a breakdown in team communication, effective leaders know how to pause, reset and model what repair looks like,” they write. “Returning to respect isn’t just about being polite; it’s about restoring connection, recovering from stress or missteps and leading in a way that builds trust, even in hard moments.”
• Activate honesty: Honesty is the fuel for fostering trust. It helps establish clarity, connection and alignment. You must name what is real – even when it’s uncomfortable, incomplete or still unfolding. In some situations, that means simply acknowledging there are many differences to be handled and you are still trying to make sense of it. “Honest leadership doesn’t require sharing every detail, but it does require sharing of yourself – your perspective, your learning, even your missteps,” they advise.
• See the full story and honour multiple perspectives: You must learn to pause your snap judgments and widen your lens to more fully understand the people and situations you face. They stress it’s not about agreeing with every point of view but about recognizing multiple truths can exist and positioning yourself to respond with greater wisdom. Hopefully that will allow you to reduce unnecessary friction and unearth new, innovative solutions.
• Ignite togetherness; harness the “we”: The authors point out that when teams thrive “it’s because they know how to think together, not the same.” You must shift the mindset of your team from individual ownership to shared purpose, an agreement among teammates that collective intelligence is the best way to tackle problems and possibilities. The key is to invite others into the process early and often. That allows you to tap into perspectives and capabilities you might have missed, taking advantages of those many differences in the team and building buy-in along the way.
• Commit to action: Managers must be accountable and bring everything together, again and again. Accountability can be tough, particularly in the context of difference; it takes courage to call someone in, point out when behaviour has been inconsistent and then invite them back to share expectations. “But when you lead with both strength and compassion, you create a culture where people feel seen and where they grow,” they state.

Managers innately know they are managing differences. But understanding just how potent a force differences can be, the underlying landmines to watch for as it gets expressed and the six recommended actions can help you improve your stewardship of your team.

Cannonballs

• Seth Godin notes that many leaders are obsessed with the question, “How few people can we get away with?” But he suggests a better question to ask is: “How can we include more people into this process?” In an organization that brings insights, humanity and care to problems, more involvement from people creates better outcomes.
• Most companies spend significant resources trying to anticipate what competitors will do next, but Wei Shi, a professor at the Miami Herbert Business School, argues they miss out on one of the clearest and most accessible signals of strategic intent: The jobs their competitors are trying to fill. It can signal what capabilities competitors are trying to build, where they are building those proficiencies and how they are deviating from industry norms. 
• Executive coach Dan Rockwell says self-centred leaders ask, “How do you feel about me?” while servant leaders ask, “How do you feel about yourself?”

Harvey Schachter is a Kingston-based writer specializing in management issues. He, along with Sheelagh Whittaker, former CEO of both EDS Canada and Cancom, are the authors of When Harvey Didn’t Meet Sheelagh: Emails on Leadership.