It’s human to care how much money others make. Can it be healthy?

In my last newsletter, I asked readers if they compare how their own personal finances stack up against others. Hundreds of you weighed in – either through our survey or over e-mail – and the short of it is: You care, a lot.

More than 70 per cent of On Money readers who responded to our newsletter poll said they compare how they stack up against others financially either all the time (about 20 per cent) or sometimes (52.5 per cent).

Success in investment performance was more important to you than your total savings, salary, buying and paying off a home, quality and number of holidays, and nearly every other benchmark.

What was perhaps at first surprising was that the vast majority of you (78 per cent) felt either happy or inspired when comparing yourself financially to others – both positive adjectives in my book. And yet, many left comments cautioning others against it.

Which got me thinking: Is there a healthy way to compare how we stack up against others financially?

“We all have something neurologically called mirror neurons,” said Kelley Keehn, a financial educator and CEO of Money Wise Institute, which creates training resources. “That gets us very excited to see what other humans are doing.”

The problem is how we verify that information and use it.

Ms. Keehn remembers the panicked reactions to a big bank survey released earlier this year that suggested people needed $1.7-million to retire. “People were like, “Oh my god, no!,” she said.

The survey triggered a wave of reactions, with experts pointing out that the number varies from one individual to another and that most people manage to retire well on far less than that.

“Someone with a paid-off home, a workplace pension and modest expenses will have very different retirement needs than someone renting without a pension,” Ms. Keehn said.

“The danger with financial comparison isn’t always envy. Sometimes it’s hopelessness. When the goalposts seem impossibly far away, people stop playing.”

But there can be a good way to approach financial comparison.

For example, rather than asking whether you’re on par or ahead of others, ask whether you’re ahead of where you were six or 12 months ago. “Have you reduced debt? Started an emergency fund? Increased your savings,” Ms. Keehn said. “Your financial progress matters far more than your financial ranking.”

And peer pressure itself isn’t always bad either.

Take recycling programs. When they were first introduced, incentives and encouragement did little to persuade people to participate. Until they saw their neighbours putting out those bright blue bins, that is.

“They felt compelled to do it,” Ms. Keehn said.

Even envy “gets a bad rap,” she told me. “It can actually tell us something useful about ourselves. If someone’s financial success triggers jealousy, get curious about why. What are you really longing for? Is it freedom? Security? More time with your family? The ability to leave a job you don’t love?”

Use that feeling as a clue to what matters to you, she said, then create a goal that reflects your own values. “We don’t need to eliminate financial comparison. We just need to make sure it’s moving us forward rather than making us feel inadequate.”

Is 40 too old to buy your first home?

Forty, fabulous and finally a home owner. As more Canadians buy homes later in life, homeownership is increasingly competing with another major financial goal: saving for retirement.

In this week’s episode of the Globe’s award-winning Stress Test podcast, we meet two Canadians who bought their first homes in their 40s to learn why they waited, how they made it happen and whether they have regrets.

Then, Meera Raman speaks with certified financial planner Adam Jenkins about the risks of buying later in life and how to balance mortgage payments with retirement savings.

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Calling all art collectors

If you’re an art lover planning to pass down your prized pieces to your children or grandchildren, or you’ve inherited art from a parent or grandparent, journalist Kelsey Rolfe would like to speak to you. She’s working on a story for The Globe about the significant amount of art and collectibles that baby boomers have accumulated over their lifetimes, and what their children and grandchildren will do with those inheritances. If you’re open to an interview, please reach out to her at kannerolfe at gmail dot com.