Self-help author Ben Gustafson shares habits to implement when you’re feeling overwhelmed

Many self-help challenges claim that to make meaningful changes in your life, you need a complete overhaul of any unwanted behaviours. The 75 Hard challenge asks participants to work out twice a day and follow a diet with no cheat meals. To complete the 30-Day Minimalism Game, you’d need to get rid of 465 possessions by the end of the challenge.

Those kinds of sky-high standards can set people up for failure. Ben Gustafson, a Vancouver Island, B.C.-based author, addictions counsellor and personal trainer, offers a different approach in his new book, 2 Things to Do Today: Healing Without the Hustle.

The premise is simple: Every day, take a breath and do one action, for example adding a nutritious vegetable to your meal, taking a 20-second dance break or feeling grateful for something.

The goal isn’t to fix everything at once. It’s giving yourself the time and space to make a number of small, manageable improvements and focus on what you can do right now. It’s a strategy that’s worked for Gustafson. After entering treatment for addiction in 2009, he used small steps to help him get sober. Today he applies those same methods when working with clients.

The Globe and Mail recently spoke with Gustafson about the new book and habits people can implement if they’re feeling overwhelmed.

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Can you talk a little bit about your background and why your book’s mantra of “one breath, one kind action” has proved so impactful?

I was in active addiction for quite some time. I got into treatment. I remember the first 30 days being really overwhelming. I felt like I had destroyed my life. One of the counsellors came in and I was sobbing. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. And the counsellor told me all I needed to do that day was clean my room and go to a meeting. That was the start of it. Those small actions got me through the next year. It alleviated the pressure of needing to do more.

Eventually I went to school to become a counsellor myself. I became all about simplifying the process for young people that I worked with. How do we create life skills and keep it simple? How do we do treatment in a simple way? Later, when I got into nutrition and personal training, it was the same approach. A lot of people get caught up in chasing somebody else’s idea of help, but they’re often overwhelmed. So can we break things down to a manageable level? And that can take 10 minutes of your day.

With self-help and wellness, many experts sell an all-or-nothing approach. Why do you think that framework is so prevalent?

I’ve definitely fallen into those pitfalls. I want to get fitter. I want to write these pieces. I want to eat healthier. I want to be there now. Self improvement can feel like a full-time job that we’re failing at. We need to pick things that are within our actual capacity. I like to start small with people and get them to notice where they’re at. That awareness is the key to all change.

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The “start small” approach can also build momentum to bigger things.

For sure. It helps people keep rhythm and take consistent actions. Imagine there’s somebody who says I’m going to do six workouts this week that are all an hour long, meditate every day for an hour and eat perfectly. Then there’s another person who says I’m going to check in with my breath for two minutes today, and move for 10 minutes. I would pick the second person to be more consistent over time.

What do you do if your kid is suddenly home sick when you had plans to do an hour workout? Often you end up not doing anything. People plan too much and end up shutting down. They’re overbudgeted on time and energy. But the small things feel doable. And those little wins, that momentum, can carry over to a lot of areas in your life.

What would you suggest to try in a moment of feeling overwhelmed?

First, do not try to solve the whole day. Let your exhale become a little slower than your inhale for a few comfortable breaths. Do not force it. Then ask yourself: What is one kind thing I can do for myself in the next few minutes? That action might be drinking some water, stepping outside, sending one honest message or deciding that something can wait. The goal is not to instantly make everything feel good. It is to give yourself enough space to choose the next thing.

This interview has been edited and condensed.