How do I get my coworker to take me seriously when my dad is the company founder?

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THE QUESTION

My dad founded a successful company and he’d like me to take it over one day. His request is for me to work in the company at different levels and departments to understand how it works, which I agree with. I’m excited to learn the business and do a great job. My first role is as an assistant to the marketing director, but everyone else in the company knows who I am and that I’m the boss’s daughter. I can tell that people act strangely around me, like I’m going to tattle on them if they do something wrong or that I’m not going to try hard because I’m guaranteed a job anyhow. What’s the best way for people to take me seriously?

THE FIRST ANSWER

Vik Kambli, chief operating officer, veritree, Vancouver

First, you can’t talk people into taking you seriously. Trying will backfire. Reframe your perspective for a moment and you’ll find your coworkers’ reaction isn’t personal. It’s a reasonable reaction to an unusual power dynamic. Trust is earned, and it’s earned slowly.

Start by naming it early. Ask your manager for a one-on-one and say it plainly: “I know my situation is unusual. I want to be held to the same standard as everyone else, including direct feedback when I miss the mark.” Then live up to it. When that feedback comes, take it without defensiveness. People will watch how you respond and whether you act on it.

I’d also suggest addressing the tattling concern through behaviour, not words. Keep a clear line between your work and your relationship with your dad. Don’t carry workplace conversations home and don’t use him as a shortcut. If you have a concern, raise it through the same channels anyone else would. It’s also worth having this conversation with your dad so he doesn’t blur that line on his side.

Then just do the work, especially the unsexy parts. Be on time, be prepared, follow through on small commitments and give credit to the people who help you. When you make a mistake, own it openly. That, more than anything you say, shows people you’re not being protected.

The reality is that this will take months, and some people may never fully adjust. That’s okay. Your goal isn’t to be liked. It’s to be trusted and respected, and you build that one delivered commitment at a time.

THE SECOND ANSWER

Neha Khurram, career transition coach, Coach Neha Khurram, Toronto

It’s natural to feel like all eyes are on you as you step into your dad’s business. The best way to earn respect from your new peers is by producing high-quality work, asking good questions and showing up with full attention and motivation, just as you would with a regular job.

While people may be on their best behaviour around you and afraid to give you constructive feedback, let them know you are eager to learn from them and want to support the business’s growth. Let the marketing director know that you plan to grow within the business and are counting on them to mentor you and provide candid feedback so you can develop your skills and be effective in your role.

Showing that you are grounded, self-aware and hungry for growth can break the perception that you are there just because your dad asked you to be there. When your colleagues see you are there because you want to be there, that you care about the business, know your stuff and are open and responsive to feedback, they will be glad to have you on the team and will take you more seriously.

Find ways to make a contribution on your first day even if it’s small. Go on a ‘listening tour’ meeting with key team members, in consultation with your manager, so they have visibility of your work. Ask about people’s roles and how to best partner with them as the marketing director’s new assistant. Also, proactively recognize peers for their great work. Build a culture of trust and transparency so you aren’t pushed into a protective bubble and feel more like a real team member.

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